Words Give Way to Something More

If you give a damn, I'll give a damn.
If you stop giving a damn, then I'll stop giving a damn.
If you hold on tight, then I'll hold on tight.
If you remember me, then I'll remember you.
If you ask me to move, then I'll call you insane.
If you make me tell you the truth, then I'll gladly speak.
If you break this damn, then I'll build a stronger one.
If you want something real, that's what this letter's for.
Signed, sealed, and scared to send.

My heart is always stolen in Wisconsin.

Fucked

Can't

Can't get them out of my head.

It's like someone put me in a pot, and lit a flame underneath me.
I'm cooking from my feet steadily up, and there's nothing but momentum feeding the flames. There's nothing to stop me. I don't know where I'll stop, who I'll meet, and who I'll hurt along the way.

For once I have freedom...and I feel like I'm either abusing it, or I'm using it exactly as I should be. There's just a self guilt trip telling me to stop.

I know exactly who would tell me to stop.

My forever friend, who stopped us from combustion all together. Brought me to the most reasonable conclusion. Got me to stand up for myself, and loved me stronger for it when I told him it could never happen again. I'll always respect him for that...truly, I will.

I'm not being honest with myself, or the people I meet. Which my good friend would tell me to knock off. Exactly that.

I just want someone to take hold of my hand as hard as they can, even if it means handcuffing us together. Slow me down long enough to see the importance of an "I care, and you need to hear why, even if you don't feel the same. Just hear me out...otherwise it's gonna eat away at me and I'll never know till you just hear what I have to say." I'd listen then, and I swear even then...in all my glory, I'd slow down for that.

There's yet to be one to make me feel like much of anything. I at least think well of myself, all on my own.

Just cuts and scrapes behind high walls that some poor soul is gonna have to tear down with his bare hands.

I don't wish that fate upon anyone...so, power to ya, whoever you are.

Dreadlocks: grab a hold, and make me listen. Maybe I did, but don't remember, so tell me again. I don't know when again will be, but I wish it would be sooner rather than later.

Hmmm

Mom asked me what I missed about home the most...and I honestly couldn't come up with much, so I quickly answered, "Starbucks."

Guess that just confirms it.

Time to leave.

Places I Want to Travel To

1. Chicago, IL
2. Flagstaff/Tuscon, AZ
3. St. Petersburg, FL
4. England...somewhere.
5. East Coast somewhere/all over



Let's DO IT!!!

I'd love to even road trip down to Flagstaff!

Remember the Time?...

Where Heather got drunk the last night of camp...and completely made a fool of herself?

I do...

Way to go me.

I don't want to ever see that side of myself every again. Or hear about her from other people; especially the ones I care for the most.

I apologize to everyone. I wish I could say I remember everything, but I don't.

I'm just getting flashes here and there...and they're all out of order. Even my apology.



What a shitty start to a friendship that I hope lasts a long long long time.

I'll miss you unicorn, and I hope you do eventually make that phone call.



Thank you, Amy's family and German sisters for such a memorable 24th birthday in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Arts and Crafts: Camper Feedback

First Session:

1st Period - Heather is a very good teacher and gives me great tips. The activities are also really fun.

1st Period - It is really fun; probably my favorite activity.

Second Session:

2nd Period - Heather is awesome, she always knows what to do. Arts and Crafts is really fun.

3rd Period - Heather is amazing! She can fix anything. She teaches you so much, and it's a joy to be around her.

3rd Period - This is my favorite class and I love all the activities that we do.



I must be doing something right.

One of Many

You are one of many.
"Don't worry 'bout me."
I'd say you made a dent;
hurt me just like the rest.
But in truth, I hurt myself
every god damn time!

I only love to love...

Doesn't matter who you are.
Doesn't even need to be real,
but it will feel the same
when you feel something deeper
for the someone else that's
bound to come, bound to fit.

I feel like a piece of meat;
pink and rare at first glance...
then green and iridescent
the second you don't want me anymore.

I seek out the perfect people
to never trust; to hell with a love life.

There's life without romance
there's romance without trust
and then there's you and I.

A girl to be dirt, that's me.