Diabetes Doesn't Suck, My Brother Does

It's been ten years since he was diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes...and he's not proven that he's been in control from the get-go.

Why do I get the feeling that it's gonna have to take kidney failure to make him see the error of his ways?

He makes me so mad...and it gets harder to love him every day.

It's weird when you have to tell your own Brother, "I don't know if I can believe your excuses anymore." I may have sounded really calm, but my lower eye-lids felt like they weighed about a ton each.

I'm moving out because of him, and I'm glad he knows.

Pride

My own pride is eating me alive.

I will make my future with my hands, even if it means having no chance in hell.

I'm all talk and no action, but that ends now.

Run with the fear, run with the chance, and accept the hell.

What else is there to do?

Love you all.

~Heather

Uh Oh...Those Crazy Vikings

I don't want to work to prove myself to anyone.

I want to work, in the sense, that I can always play and learn more about who I am...and how humanity ticks.

I want to break bridges, set fire to the routine, and walk through oceans of paint, paper, envelopes, and fine-tipped markers forever.

I want to put an end to the hate, blame, and denial.

Who am I?

What am I addicted to?

Hello, everyone. I stand before you today...

*ahem*

I mean...to say...

My name is Heather, and...

I'm an artist.

Not the Killing Type

I'm struggling, man!

I need a job, a different location, and I need it soon, or I'm going to blow a gasket.

I have a close friend who's looking to move with me...but I'm worried that we're just in two different financial upbringings to make it work out.

This move would be all financial ties cut, which I want...trust me, kids, my heart longs for it more than anything. Right next to that need to eat, breath, and sleep on a regular basis.

Ya never know what words could bring me to tears, inappropriately loud laughter, or a painful numbing silence for hours.

I'm all outa wack...that's for damb sure! I love Amanda Palmer though, and wish I had her bravery to just live off of the riches from my handmade creations, made with love and from the heart.

The bleeding is a little trippy though...

Don't worry, I won't kill anyone...yet.

Concerned

I have never felt like this before...and it's a little frightening.

I know camp always leads to a struggle for adjustment whenever it's time to go back home, but...I've never struggled to adjust this much.

My train of thought is so scattered, and as much as I know staying here wouldn't make me happy...I just crave some resemblance of a rhythm or "groove."

It's not even Winter.

I'm concerned for my career (whichever one I choose), I'm concerned for my future, and at this point...my wellbeeing.

I'm scared shitless.

I need help...and I'm too afraid to ask for it.