Uplifting Thoughts

After a day of breathing, I'm okay. I'll trust Mom's kind words: "I know...deep down, it'll turn up."

But I'm still really shocked that I lost my engagement ring. I'm not sure where to look; all I know is that it's not where I left it...nor in any of the boxes in my parents' garage I brought over from the Anderson house in Ellensburg.

I know Grandma would forgive me, but it's harder to forgive myself for it now that she's gone. Even worse, is the feeling I'm left with because of what the ring itself represented. I didn't know I could ever let one person down this hard in my life. Not only did I take my promise back, but I lost the one item that signified my respect for what was our relationship. I did love him...but I was too young to realize just how strong love has to be in order to make that promise forever. I hadn't matured enough, nor was I experienced enough to hold on to it. I lost it.

For that, I will never forgive myself, but I will always grow from it.
Marriage takes on a completely different, beautiful meaning, now that I know.

I miss her pies. She put absolute love into them...as Mother does with her casseroles and baked dinners.

Believe it, or not, work actually helps me with all this. It's not as bad as it sounds...I'm just a fricken drama queen when the pen hits the paper. When keys get pounded into text.

I want to be an Art (possibly an Art & Theatre) teacher, working with ages between 8 to 16. I know that's a broad range when it comes to education, but with experience, I'll narrow it down. I have discovered, so far, that the best method for introducing a child to his/her dreams...true passions in life, is to share my true passions in life with them. They see the spark in my eye, and how beautiful life can be...they'll see the colors they can paint with by using whatever is in their hands. Reach for anything you can. Trial, error, and pies!

Love.

This is why everything will always be okay, because I may have lost love with one person...but it opened the door to loving life a little bit deeper.

I'll keep that thought with me always.

So in reality...all I lost was a rock.