Geraldine Patricia Rogeness

Mom had mentioned it a few days before Mother's Day, but I completely forgot until now. A year ago, on Mother's Day, Geraldine Patricia Rogeness, my Grandmother, passed away. We had the opportunity to visit her grave, but Mom didn't want to. I assured her that she wasn't going anywhere, and wouldn't rush her. Mom would know when the time was right, and shouldn't feel guilty for that by any means. Just because I told Mom not to feel guilty, doesn't mean I can't.

I miss her. I still remember what I said her before she passed. She was lying in a hospital bed, unable to communicate, and probably asleep. I didn't know what to say, really. I said, "Goodbye Grandma, I wish I could have shared more with you. I love you." She smelled an awful like pooped pants, but I didn't care. Colin couldn't stay in the room because it frightened him too much. Everyone grieves in their own ways...and I will never get mad at him for that. I won't demand miracles from him, I love him too much for that.

I just had the thought, "man...I would never have guessed all this inspiration for art pieces was in me if you had asked me even a year ago." Then I remembered a year ago, she passed...and I remembered my desire to share more with her.

I don't know much about the afterlife, but if there is one...I hope she's watching, and I hope that she's growing her hair out and discovering a wild side. When she was alive, she hoarded things like used wrapping paper and thin slivers that used to be bars of soap. I think I get the hoarding random materials from her. I credit my hand fluted fake pie crusts from "Seven Brides for Seven Brother's" to her. I watched her closely everytime she made a pie for us with such love and care. When the Dimentia finally kicked in...and I witnessed her attempt to make pie crust with just flour and water, I died a little on the inside. But I live, and still love her dearly.

I wish I could have gotten to know her better.