Faceebook Fail

1. Found out today that my Great Aunt, Jo Ann reads my blogs...and my last post was totally boy/private parts/romance related. Hopefully she has a sense of humor! Otherwise, this year's family Christmas card from her might be awkward. Meh! What are you gonna do, right? Hi, Aunt Jo Ann! Think of it like me waving at you from the camera of a talk show, but it's got the closed captions on, and you're just reading this to yourself thinking...my God, what's wrong with this girl.

2. Called in sick to work today...which I swear, I always feel guilty for, because I always manage to feel okay by mid-day. I can't even enjoy it! I woke up at 10am this morning to find that my room mate's couch cushion had been further digested or destroyed by her dog. Me, and my swollen left eye (from sinus pressure, no one beat me about the face), slowly swept up the mess, pleasantly thinking my room mate has already offered to buy me dinner on Friday with how much I help out with the dog. Maybe I can tally up the times I help...but that would be mean, and unlike me! I just hope it gets better, before his behavior gets worse, and he decides to start munching on all the furniture. What if we have to start sitting Asian style in the living room?! Brody is secretly aware of these fears, and is acting upon them. What a smart dog! And downright fucking evil! Anyways, I've managed to watch two episodes of Parenthood, drink a whole French press of coffee, start the Princess and the Frog (cause the Shadow Man intrigues me), and draw out an inside joke from a couple weeks back. Long story short, a couple weeks ago, on a most fortunate Sunday, this woman selling handmade greeting cards approached me in a bar on Capitol Hill, Seattle...and told me if I bought 6 cards, I got a free motor-boat with purchase. How can you resist an offer like that when you've had 6 beers? Yes, before you ask, there's pictures proving this happened, but they're never going to be on Facebook. Well, I decided it would be funny to draw out the one that said, "Dear _________, Even if you were the last unicorn on Earth, I'd still fuck a horse. Sincerely, __________" It's perfect, and my "fan-art," of sorts, just adds to the twisted tale. I found the woman's blog account, and couldn't help but subscribe. Please check it out, because I hate glitter, and willingly putting my nose between her body-glitter-sprayed tits just has to supported, as well as her work! Her blog is www.Superalisa.com

3. During Thanksgiving with the family in Concrete, Washington (middle of fucking nowhere, Washington), I took moments here and there to isolate myself with Grandma's art supplies at the dining room table before eating not that much grub, 'cause I was sick. Jody, my cousin, grabbed my sketchbook and started thumbing through it. She found a rather disturbing page with a bizarre creature on it, that I, of course, drew myself. My two favorite animals are the frog and the flamingo, and I wanted to see what the combined, love child of the two would look like. Well, my friends, as you can imagine, it wasn't a pretty picture, and I'm pretty sure that's why God doesn't approve of cross-breading outside of veggies and flowers...who knows, maybe he doesn't approve of that either. Hopefully that doesn't turn into all farmers and nursery workers going to hell for tampering with the "design." Did I mention I wasn't religious? Anyways, my cousin is waving my sketchbook around, showing it to all my older relatives, shouting, "She's YOUR daughter!" That's when I realized, I had placed a caption next to the creature that read, "Frogs and flamingos shouldn't fuck!" I was embarrassed for a split second, and then once I saw the confusion and laughter that followed...it was worth it. Maybe I should share my creativity more often.

4. I struggle with the thought of a career path perfect for me on a daily basis...as you all know, or have read. It keeps me up at night, and it's probably is the reason I have taken to the red wine (but not enough to be a drunk, just enjoying my youth, don't judge). I draw as often as I can, and spend hours daydreaming about what the next doodle or postcard or piece will be. The list gets longer...and the hours I spend dreaming of being a teacher are becoming fewer and farther between. Is it a sign? A rather handsome friend of mine has started to steal road signs for me, specifically "Sidewalk Closed Ahead" signs. I now, technically have two. They're a whole 'nother inspiration entirely, and I'm excited to know (and feel somewhat awful) that someone is willing to steal for my cause. I may have told him I wouldn't object to his fingers getting stickier. I'm a terrible influence, but you know...he started it!

Hopefully things simmer down soon, but more than likely, they'll just go up in flames! Love life, and baby-steps.