Winter Holidays

Did I mention I'd be in England? No?! Oh...well I am! From December 19th through January 5th. I'm gonna hit Manchester, Hereford, London, Sheffield and Sunderland all in 2.5 weeks. I don't know how I'll be able to afford all those trains...but I'll gladly go broke over the trip of a lifetime!

Beats Me (Life)

I don't know what I wanna do, and I don't know who I want to be. No scratch that! I want to love, more specifically, I want to love you...who are you? Beats me. I want to smoke a cigarette, you're gonna hate me for it, but it's better than lying about an addiction that beats me. I want to share a thought with the entire world, what that thought is, it beats me entirely. I wanna write letters for the rest of my life, and I want everyone to stop using the money in their pockets right this second. It's not fixing anything, what it was made for, it beats me. I want silence when I think, to be the only one on Earth, just for a brief minute...so disappointment and fear get a break from influencing all the things that "beats me." I want an easy fix, and I want you to tell me what it is that beats me so frequently.

Cup Runneth Over

I stumbled upon (not using Stumble, mind you) on a certification program through Seattle University for a K-12 guidance counselor thingamabob. And the more I think about it, the more I want to help! Ever since High School...it feels like that's kinda the position I've taken on with my friend and family; that shoulder that everyone needed. In High School it got to the point where I was getting taken advantage of in that sense...but I've learned the difference between those people and the good ones that just need someone to listen. It almost feels like this has been right in front of me the whole time. I have no idea what the demand is for Guidance Counselors within the Education industry, but that doesn't seem to matter to me right now. Sometime soon I will find a Career Counselor...and keep the loop of help looping. Whoever this person is, they'll listen to me...help me, and send me on my way, ready to listen and help the next person listen and help others. It's a beautiful thought to ponder. Also...I'm tired of living life very secured and afraid to take risks. So, I'm going to take a risk. I'm going to England for the Winter Holidays! I'm going to destroy the last of my savings/inheritence/camp paycheck...and just GO! It's about time, right? Life is beautiful...just as it should be. I love my friends and the children I have ever worked with...this is a world you introduced me to, and can't seem to stay away from. Camp/Champions...you've changed my life for the better. I can never repay you, but I'd love to try!

Honestly

I've decided to start a jewelry line, and it shall be called, "honestly." Overall: I want to call it "Honestly." I want unconventional/slightly controversial things to dangle from peoples' earrings, necklaces and bracelets...to the point where people have to do a double take. The objects or pendents if you will, will shed light on the secrets we try to hide from others or ourselves...especially if it means we will be judged. It will turn our world of fear into a fashion statement. Wear your heart, fears, embarrassments, and faults on your sleeve...literally. This is ultimately an art project/a way of reminding myself to adhere to a completely honest life-style. Even if it means people not liking me. It also brings up the question...what atmosphere would individuals wear these pieces in? Where would they feel comfortable wearing them? Everywhere, only around friends? Never? What could you possibly say if you saw someone wearing a necklace that appeared to be a cigarette on a chain...wait, it reads, "frequent quitter." Honestly?! Exactly! Honestly. That's the idea anyways.

?

How do we measure true success in a world like ours? Is it the money in my pocket that I ain't got? Is it the number of people that I tried to love? Is it how many arguments I think I've cleverly won? Or is it in the smiles I can bring to your face? I'm telling you like I tell myself: "I refuse to believe there's only one." To each their own; even this could change. I'm telling you like I tell myself: "I wish I could say I even had a clue." How do we know it's truly forever in a heart like yours? Is it on a day I can magically read your mind? Is it when things before your eyes shake and blur? Is it even after you've already told me so? Or does it just take 3 licks of a Tootsie-Pop? I'm telling you like I tell myself: "I refuse to believe there's only one." To each their own; even this could change. I'm telling you like I tell myself: "I wish I could say I even had a clue." How do you depict the strength of one's confidence? Is it in the ease you can lie to all, but one? Is it in the stuffed animals you now can lose? Is it in the shame you never have to worry 'bout? Or can I prove it with my honesty in a letter? I'm telling you like I tell myself: "I refuse to believe it's easy like that." To each their own, and time doesn't quake. I'm telling you like I tell myself: "I wish I could say I even had a clue." They say it's hard not to love the people who say they love you, first. But I'm telling you like I tell myself: "To each their own," and I'm afraid to know. WIll I drive you crazy if I tell you like I tell myself: "I wish I could say I even had a clue."

Sincerly, Loving Bitch

My good friend is having girl troubles, and believe it or not, but I actually saved myself from the emotional burn-outs I always get from helping certain friends. Even if it only means a sympathetic ear. He asked me to wait by my cell phone around 7pm last night, just so I could make up an "emergency" so he could escape from an awkward conversation with the girl he likes, if need be. Dude...no! I'm not your bitch! I told him to just leave if things get awkward, and he thought that wasn't a very nice thing to do. I then proceeded to tell him that if he's not comfortable leaving, then he's going to sacrifice his own sanity...and personally, I'm not in charge of keeping that in tact for him. Look at me! I stood up for myself. I'm becoming a big girl...wearing the big girl pants and everything! This kind of progress may not mean anything to anyone else, but me....but I don't care. Just thought I'd share. Hope all is well the rest of yous out there. Yes, awful english, I know! I don't care. I REALLLLLY don't care...and hence, why I'm saying so. There's more of me "saying so" to come.

Hurricane

Life is like a hurricane...here...in...Duckburg. Race cars, lasers, airplanes - it's a duck-blur. You might solve a mystery...or rewrite history! --- I'm making a comeback! Watch out, world...the creative juices are flowing again! Now, if only I could stop wasting expensive gas on driving home in between shifts to make such grocery bag furniture.