I've been listening to Fun's 2nd album all day, and man do they make it sound easy to write an anthum. Have you heard the lyrics? Can I get a "huh?" Still...it's nice to pack to. Makes me feel like I could punch an over privaledged teen and get away with it, if I run fast enough.
I hate packing! Hate it, hate it, hate it! Just thinking about it makes me want a shot of tequila. All I have to do is pack the toiletries, coffee mug, and last minute memorabilia.
If anything, I look Pacific Northwesty today. With tourquoise eyeshadow to boot. *cue black cat crossing my...keyboard?* Is that bad luck still? It's not my path persay...but it's my focus for now. How'd she know to step on the touchpad? Welp, mysteries of life indeed.
You thought life was dramatic now? Just wait; just you wait! Pretty soon, we'll all have our camp goggles on. She'll be sleeping with him, he'll be sleeping with who knows...but everyone's dying to know. We'll be staying up late, screwing up our schedules just to get an hour to ourselves. To be "grown-ups." I'm gonna tell myself that I'll go out less, but we all know...it's impossible. There's too many willing souls with open pockets. So, looks like it's Jack and dancin' on tables once again! Wouldn't have it any other way. What with far away friends comin' togetha to throw it all away? What more could ya ask for? It's heaven...the kind you can only live with for two months out of the year. I become this New Jersey Dame, who just wants to give it to you straight. I love her! Time to put the past behind.
Gonna miss you all though. Let's write letters. I mean it this time. Lets love each other on paper littered with postage stamps. It'll be...everything I've asked for.
But dude! You best be waiting when I return. Don't know who you are, but you best be here when I return...or I'll just have to wait another year.
TO LIFE! And that goober who mistakingly said..."Schindler on the Roof." Le Chiam.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Thursday, June 7, 2012
TTFN Washington
I leave for Wisconsin Saturday morning, and I can't wait for the send-off adventures tomorrow.
Piles of the shit I need to pack up are cluttering my parents' living room...and it all just feels like a re-run at this point. A paid vacation from life all the same though. I need to get away...HAVE TO GET AWAY! Right as it gets interesting; like a starlet exiting stage left just when they're beggin' for more! Mystery, friends.
I'm not sure what I'm in store for this summer, but I betcha it's better than the mess here.
Been avoiding the Doctor's office, when there's something obviously wrong with my body...and has been wrong for close to 6 months now. I'd really wish they'd just say, "you're best bet is just cuttin' the darn thing out. We all know you don't need it anyhow." Don't know if Alli will be employed when I get back, which makes living together really difficult. Hoping to one day have a job I can be proud of. Her status...that I say doesn't bother me, 'cause it doesn't, but...feels like one huge sad story when coupled with the train-wreck of my almost marriage. Yeah, found the lost engagement ring and wedding band when moved out of my apartment...but now it's the nightmare that won't end. I deserved better...but if the love letter's gonna work, I need the correct heart to launch it to. He wasn't the one, and man was I too eager. I love life though, and with the tears I refuse to cry..."may the past be the sound of your feet upon the ground. Carry on, carry on."
"I just don't want it to ruin anything planned."
I'm not graceful, I'm not put together. I'm a ghost who just wants to dance.
Cheers, Washington. To a new you, to a new me, to a new you and I.
Piles of the shit I need to pack up are cluttering my parents' living room...and it all just feels like a re-run at this point. A paid vacation from life all the same though. I need to get away...HAVE TO GET AWAY! Right as it gets interesting; like a starlet exiting stage left just when they're beggin' for more! Mystery, friends.
I'm not sure what I'm in store for this summer, but I betcha it's better than the mess here.
Been avoiding the Doctor's office, when there's something obviously wrong with my body...and has been wrong for close to 6 months now. I'd really wish they'd just say, "you're best bet is just cuttin' the darn thing out. We all know you don't need it anyhow." Don't know if Alli will be employed when I get back, which makes living together really difficult. Hoping to one day have a job I can be proud of. Her status...that I say doesn't bother me, 'cause it doesn't, but...feels like one huge sad story when coupled with the train-wreck of my almost marriage. Yeah, found the lost engagement ring and wedding band when moved out of my apartment...but now it's the nightmare that won't end. I deserved better...but if the love letter's gonna work, I need the correct heart to launch it to. He wasn't the one, and man was I too eager. I love life though, and with the tears I refuse to cry..."may the past be the sound of your feet upon the ground. Carry on, carry on."
"I just don't want it to ruin anything planned."
I'm not graceful, I'm not put together. I'm a ghost who just wants to dance.
Cheers, Washington. To a new you, to a new me, to a new you and I.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Convincing Myself Nothing
It's really difficult thinking, "you're one of a kind...something special," as well as thinking, "you're normal...completely ordinary, and no one finds you interesting" all at the same time. It's like a battle of the persona. I want to draw them both, and see which one feels more real to look at. Like that episode of Xander halfed into two completely different people. I'm like that all the time. I don't know what's going to happen soon, but I know change is always on the rise. Like that bad moon Creedance sings about.
I do miss having a companion.
No one quite measures up.
I try anyways...but nonetheless, she steals the limelight.
Afton, I'm so sorry.
Please, work things out with your Joker/Two-face.
I'm still not sure if I want to come back here to stay.
I need an adventure that's bigger than myself.
Mom asked me if I was leaving, and I didn't have an answer for her.
I still don't.
I do miss having a companion.
No one quite measures up.
I try anyways...but nonetheless, she steals the limelight.
Afton, I'm so sorry.
Please, work things out with your Joker/Two-face.
I'm still not sure if I want to come back here to stay.
I need an adventure that's bigger than myself.
Mom asked me if I was leaving, and I didn't have an answer for her.
I still don't.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
It's Not About the Money, Money, Money? Fuck You.
As some of you may know, I have a new job starting on Monday, April 9th. Today was my orientation for it, actually. It's a fantastic company that I've heard only great things about, and I really can not wait to start DOING IT! I already have a family that I know through Westhill Elementary that is registered through my agency, and really wants to request me for days that they might need backup care for. Which would be so amazing!
I've been making that painful two-week long bandaid-rip process...saying good-bye to the Champion kids and families happen. It's not cool. It's not cool at all. I hate it, in fact. I know that if I stay in this career path...it's only gonna get harder and harder. Think of all the lives I could change, though! So many children, and opportunities to laugh and play with them. Incredible! It's all so exciting.
And to be blunt...I'll be making twice as much money!
CA-CHING!!!
Here's a list of the things I kinda need to buy...since I've been poor for so long, it's not even funny.
1. Antiques (Let's be honest, friends. We all know where my priorities lie).
2. Food
3. YOGA PANTS ('cause I finally have an excuse to wear them to work)
4. Nice jeans
5. Stationary (lots of letters to stay in touch with everyone, duh!)
6. Parashute cord from R.E.I. (one more art project underway, thank god it's cheap)
7. Whiskey (hey! at least it's not in the top 5, k?)
8. Head bands (that I alter and add to, of course)
9. A carpet bag
10. Floppy hat, complete with feathers
11. Bumbershoot with unique handle
The last three need to happen...'cause I want to be Mary Poppins, BITCH!!!
...but cooler. Much cooler.
I've been making that painful two-week long bandaid-rip process...saying good-bye to the Champion kids and families happen. It's not cool. It's not cool at all. I hate it, in fact. I know that if I stay in this career path...it's only gonna get harder and harder. Think of all the lives I could change, though! So many children, and opportunities to laugh and play with them. Incredible! It's all so exciting.
And to be blunt...I'll be making twice as much money!
CA-CHING!!!
Here's a list of the things I kinda need to buy...since I've been poor for so long, it's not even funny.
1. Antiques (Let's be honest, friends. We all know where my priorities lie).
2. Food
3. YOGA PANTS ('cause I finally have an excuse to wear them to work)
4. Nice jeans
5. Stationary (lots of letters to stay in touch with everyone, duh!)
6. Parashute cord from R.E.I. (one more art project underway, thank god it's cheap)
7. Whiskey (hey! at least it's not in the top 5, k?)
8. Head bands (that I alter and add to, of course)
9. A carpet bag
10. Floppy hat, complete with feathers
11. Bumbershoot with unique handle
The last three need to happen...'cause I want to be Mary Poppins, BITCH!!!
...but cooler. Much cooler.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Best Sundays
This past Sunday, I woke up at 9am. Modestly cleaned the living room, awaiting the arrival of a good friend I hadn't seen in a while. I drank my coffee at a leisurely pace, and stayed in athletic yoga garb all day. I even cluttered our livng room with all my art supplies...after cleaning it.
It's just how ya do it! Make room for a different kind of mess.
Sarah finally arrived at 1pm...and we drank beer and painted for 5 hours.
I don't know a better way to spend an afternoon, do you?!
We had the sliding glass door open, letting sunlight in, and a nice breeze movin' through the apartment...even if the breeze was my room mate's sympathy farts!
Later that night, my friend Clayton showed up, and we headed for Seattle to see Annex's Weird and Awesome with Emmet Montgomery (always the first Sunday of the month). Clatyon met Afton's boyfriend, Johnny...who now thinks of me as a little sister of his. GREAT! They're certainly amazing hugs, BUT I don't need anymore brothers from different mothers. I got plenty of people lookin' out for me. I'm not 100% certain I need another alcoholic in the extended tree either. Still...as Sarah said, "You can't keep someone around just for their comics." I know tons of people who would say otherwise. A match made in heaven was made perfectly clear whenever Clayton and Johnny agreed on some rock single from who knows when...and as if in unison, air-guitared for a solid minute! Boys.
I've lost track of the true subject though...where was I?
...um?
YEAH, Sunday...comedy show. Lesbian standup comedians that look like paper boys from the 1920s, yada yada yada...Cards Against Humanity, We Didn't Playtest This Either, fine Italian wine, AND finally going home at 2am (eventhough I had work the next morning at 7:30am).
Needless to say, I called in sick Monday morning. It wasn't ALL lack of sleep...I think my room mate's case of the farts were contagious. Maybe I should drink less beer.
I'd say a perfect Sunday was accomplished.
It's just how ya do it! Make room for a different kind of mess.
Sarah finally arrived at 1pm...and we drank beer and painted for 5 hours.
I don't know a better way to spend an afternoon, do you?!
We had the sliding glass door open, letting sunlight in, and a nice breeze movin' through the apartment...even if the breeze was my room mate's sympathy farts!
Later that night, my friend Clayton showed up, and we headed for Seattle to see Annex's Weird and Awesome with Emmet Montgomery (always the first Sunday of the month). Clatyon met Afton's boyfriend, Johnny...who now thinks of me as a little sister of his. GREAT! They're certainly amazing hugs, BUT I don't need anymore brothers from different mothers. I got plenty of people lookin' out for me. I'm not 100% certain I need another alcoholic in the extended tree either. Still...as Sarah said, "You can't keep someone around just for their comics." I know tons of people who would say otherwise. A match made in heaven was made perfectly clear whenever Clayton and Johnny agreed on some rock single from who knows when...and as if in unison, air-guitared for a solid minute! Boys.
I've lost track of the true subject though...where was I?
...um?
YEAH, Sunday...comedy show. Lesbian standup comedians that look like paper boys from the 1920s, yada yada yada...Cards Against Humanity, We Didn't Playtest This Either, fine Italian wine, AND finally going home at 2am (eventhough I had work the next morning at 7:30am).
Needless to say, I called in sick Monday morning. It wasn't ALL lack of sleep...I think my room mate's case of the farts were contagious. Maybe I should drink less beer.
I'd say a perfect Sunday was accomplished.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Might Explode
I rewatched one of my favorite TED talks the other day with my brother, the one with Performance Poet Sarah Kay. It's amazing, no matter how many times I've watched it...it still fills me with inspirations galore and a bottom eyelid full of tears I don't want to shed in front of people.
So, I thought I'd write down 3 things I know to be true. Just like she did.
1. I panic before the event that's got me worried even happens. I panic a lot.
2. I have a great deal of love bottled in my heart that has no where to go...and I don't know how to share it, so I give it to complete strangers in the form of anonymous letters.
3. Exercising the brain has always come naturally to me, exercising the body...has not.
There's a lot of changes going on...and all I can do to keep from exploding is doing the dishes.
I need to write more love letters...and paint it out. There's no one here anymore, but me.
So, I thought I'd write down 3 things I know to be true. Just like she did.
1. I panic before the event that's got me worried even happens. I panic a lot.
2. I have a great deal of love bottled in my heart that has no where to go...and I don't know how to share it, so I give it to complete strangers in the form of anonymous letters.
3. Exercising the brain has always come naturally to me, exercising the body...has not.
There's a lot of changes going on...and all I can do to keep from exploding is doing the dishes.
I need to write more love letters...and paint it out. There's no one here anymore, but me.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
OMG, Dawg!
1. My good friend is preggers. WOWZA, man! I think I'm more excited then she is...so I did the rightful and only logical thing. I bought her a mini-metallic chicken at an antique store. It will go perfect on her desk. It's mini-Beyonce!
2. I put in my two weeks notice today with Champions. I'm quitting for a full-time Nanny position in the greater Seattle area. I'm so excited, and nervous. I'm still going to camp...and I'm just hoping that they'll let me come back. I'm pretty sure it won't be much of an issue. BUT YIKES! They offered me my position immediately at the tail-end of my interview today in between shifts with work. Side ways, back slashy smiley face, Delbie! Also, kinda decently sized panic attack this morning when the application wouldn't work online today prior to my interview. Poor, Mom. Sorry. You're about the only one who knows I can actually raise my voice above a Batman grumble. The rest of the world has no clue. Lucky world.
3. Working a PTA meeting tonight, and opening for another co-worker tomorrow morning. Holy Muffin Murderers...I don't wanna! But money! BUT DON'T WANNA...but $$$$!!!
4. I need a glass of wine...and a nap. Won't get home till 9pm, again. It's so not worth it for barely breaking 20 hours a week right now work-wise.
5. Wine? Waitor...??? Oh, right, I'm in a public library. Fuck this shit! WAITOR!
2. I put in my two weeks notice today with Champions. I'm quitting for a full-time Nanny position in the greater Seattle area. I'm so excited, and nervous. I'm still going to camp...and I'm just hoping that they'll let me come back. I'm pretty sure it won't be much of an issue. BUT YIKES! They offered me my position immediately at the tail-end of my interview today in between shifts with work. Side ways, back slashy smiley face, Delbie! Also, kinda decently sized panic attack this morning when the application wouldn't work online today prior to my interview. Poor, Mom. Sorry. You're about the only one who knows I can actually raise my voice above a Batman grumble. The rest of the world has no clue. Lucky world.
3. Working a PTA meeting tonight, and opening for another co-worker tomorrow morning. Holy Muffin Murderers...I don't wanna! But money! BUT DON'T WANNA...but $$$$!!!
4. I need a glass of wine...and a nap. Won't get home till 9pm, again. It's so not worth it for barely breaking 20 hours a week right now work-wise.
5. Wine? Waitor...??? Oh, right, I'm in a public library. Fuck this shit! WAITOR!
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